Marriage Series: Walgreens Wives

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Words of Affirmation 

This week's topic is probably one of my favorites. Personally, I've worked very hard over the years to make sure my attitude and words towards Nick are kind, gentle and purposeful. It's so easy to get caught up in the everyday stuff that we can sometimes let our tongues slip. If you aren't showing respect to your spouse then how can you expect anything positive back?

Let's start with you. No one likes to admit when they're doing something wrong..but maybe we all are? Here are a few questions you can ask yourself...

Is this attitude warranted? Or am I just being stubborn?

Have I taken time to let my spouse know how much I love them?

Have I recently shown gratitude for everything my spouse does?

Now that you've answered all those mentally... how you feeling? If you're anything like me.. then you may be feeling a little upset with yourself.

I've said it once but I will say it again.. it's so easy to get caught up in the everyday stuff that you often forget the nourishment that your love needs.

If your spouse doesn't feel respected by you then no amount of love will speak to them. When you've been married for several years you can sometimes forget the small things that drew you to your spouse. Take time to reflect on those things and then write them down. Sometimes seeing the words on paper puts things into a better perspective.

I don't want to say that I ever had a "broken" marriage but there were times I wasn't sure we'd make it. Nick and I basically grew up together and at times I wasn't sure who he was turning into. When your meet your spouse so young you talk about these dreams and hopes you have for your future but you don't realize that so many things can change and happen over the years. I never in a million years pictured my life the way it is today. You know what though... that is OKAY. I've ended up exactly where I am supposed to be.

I've learned that sometimes you have to treat your spouse like the person they COULD BE and they will feel more inclined to pursue that person. Using words of affirmation can set a great foundation for our spouse to grow on. I wanted to share a few different things you can say and do to show your love and support.

- Write them a love letter. In a world full of MCM/WCW, take time to really make things personal. Your love doesn't always have to be displayed on social media for it to seem "good".

- Truly listen when they are telling you something. Even if you've heard it before or even if it's another boring work story. To your spouse, these things may be important to them.

- Never complain about your spouse publicly. I'll be the first to admit that I am guilty of ranting about something that has happened. When you open up the floor to this kind of negativity though sometimes bad things come out of it.

- Compliment them on something they've done or simply how they look.

It really doesn't take that much effort to make sure your spouse feels loved, wanted and needed. I've been working on this part of my marriage for a couple years now. Sure, we slip up and may say something hurtful.. but when you notice how those words negatively affect the other person that only means you know what you're doing wrong. If you know what you're doing wrong then you have the opportunity to repair it.

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